you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
