so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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