and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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