she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
