i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am available for nakedness
I love you. Go after that dick
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
