I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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