We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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