hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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