Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
