Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
