2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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