Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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