marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
