I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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