you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
