If i come over, it means nothing
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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