So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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