just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
