can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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