What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize