honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
