I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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