just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
