Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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