he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
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I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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