i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
