weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
