i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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