I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
