3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My friends, they love my intelligence
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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