I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
