i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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