I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
