im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize