fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is my gift to your gina
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
