Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need to sanitize my soul.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
