Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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