the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I met the friendliest cop last night
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
