i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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