Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
