this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
