dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize