so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
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When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Mom said you looked used
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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