just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
