The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
