I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
