I want to walk on stilts...naked
please come you make the beer taste better
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
