He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
