There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
if only i could text you this smell
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
