so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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