he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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