please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
