Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
