Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
