If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize