everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
