i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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