Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
