Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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